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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
starsightastrology

Sun Signs as Sex

  • Aries: Ties their lover down and fucks only on their own terms, probably some power play involved
  • Taurus: Gives a messy blowjob while being filmed on their lover's phone, a lot of dirty talking and asking if their lover likes it
  • Gemini: Introduces a threesome and instructs the other two on what they want, gives orders and enjoys watching the other two follow them
  • Cancer: Fucks cowgirl style in their own bed, has casual conversation when not screaming and moaning louder than necessary
  • Leo: A quickie while standing in a fancy club bathroom, just pulls up their dress and goes for it with some giggling at the thought of being caught
  • Virgo: Missionary with candles and roses, well planned to be perfect in every detail and very romantic
  • Libra: Bent over a coffee table while drunk in their apartment, met their lover an hour ago at a party they didn't want to go to
  • Scorpio: Doggy style in the back of a limo where the driver can hear them circa partition
  • Sagittarius: Fucks loudly against a wall in the shower, possible use of bubble bath soap
  • Capricorn: Reverse cowgirl while simultaneously watching their favorite tv show, tells lover to be quiet when it's not a commercial
  • Aquarius: Gets eaten out in a restaurant bathroom, probably makes a joke about being dessert
  • Pisces: 69's somewhere they could get caught, like on the floor of a classroom during detention
virces-astrology

Signs in a Relationship/Sex

  • Aries: v. protective, a little naive and passionate// surprisingly slow (if you want) and patient
  • Taurus: kinda stubborn, yet loving // very sensual and has a great stamina
  • Gemini: a whirlwind of emotion, it's so easy to love them even if they mess up like they do a lot, very restless // flexible, light hearted, have a thing for one night stands
  • Cancer: shy and cautious at first, motherlike afterwards // they will satisfy every need of yours, devoted and tenacious
  • Leo: very romantic and dramatic // insatiable, a monster under the sheets, generous and confident (may or may not be a façade)
  • Virgo: impeccable, fussy and fastidious. Also a huge tease at times, ends up dumping a lot of people // crazy af, teasing, drives you wild
  • Libra: flirtatious and irresistible, they are fair and sweet // not aggressive, charming and touching
  • Scorpio: deep and powerful, a bit clingy at times // amazing sex, they can be very demanding
  • Sagittarius: infuriatingly endearing and brutally honest, even if it kills them, they're as hard as Gemini to get in a relationship // willing and open to try new things, will aid their partner in everything
  • Capricorn: steady and stable, a little wistful at times, but the form amazing relationships // can go on for hours and hours, surprisingly playful at times
  • Aquarius: they can be grounded or up in the stars, if you can get one they form very caring partners // hard to know who's on top and what they're getting at. They expect more than just physical satisfaction out of sex
  • Pisces: the kind of person who never gives up on you, a little sad and dreamy // very considerate and doesn't expect sex on the menu every time.
  • -Absinthe
  • Thanks to @preciouslittlediamonde for the request, send us more in our ask box!